Common Behavioral Symptoms of becoming a Penguin
Do you have “Penguincies”, which may lead to “Penguinitis”,
which may result in your membership in a “colony” at an
“Active Living facility” and AARP (Amer. Assoc. of retired penguins)
you fall asleep reading a newspaper at Farbuck’s.
you answer the remote when the phone rings.
you plug your razor into your cell phone charger.
you go to bingo and pancake breakfast in a golf cart.
your car looks better with whitewalls.
your workshop is a storage shed.
you do a tuneup on the neighbor’s new car and
ask the guy at the parts counter, “What’s the point gap?”
you have a special tool kit for the lawn mower.
You have a “Penguin Adventure”, like:
The bag boy at the grocery store chases you
into the parking lot with your groceries and….
you forgot where you parked, so……
you look for your car because
you can’t find your “Lil’ Reminder”, and ….
you find a car that looks like yours, but….
you don’t have the keys, and….
you remember you brought your wife and….
you have to find her because
she has the keys because…….
the last time this happened,
she called you from a payphone, but….
you took the bus and answered the remote and
you didn’t want to be late for bingo, so…
you went back down to the store in the golf cart and…
there She was!
Since She doesn’t drive, you….
took her home in the golf cart and then….
got on the bus going the wrong way at first,
but caught it, and when you finally got to the grocery parking lot…
you were arrested….
trying to open a car that looks like yours.